With the elections coming up soon, I was going to write my own article about how important it is for each one of us to get out and exercise our political right/responsibility by voting. I asked Nicky Grist of the Alternatives To Marriage Project if she would like to contribute to this blog post and she responded magnificently.

I will not to tell you who you should vote for, just that YOU NEED TO VOTE. It's important, because, as my friend Nicky so eloquently puts it... 

Unmarried People Will Choose the Next President
       By Nicky Grist, executive director of the Alternatives to Marriage Project

Who we are, why it matters, and what you need to do
 
Political strategists say unmarried people are the key voting block in the 2008 presidential election. The New York Times said that the unmarried majority “could ultimately shape social and workplace policies, including the ways government and employers distribute benefits.” Why? We’re big and growing, we’re new, and we’re consistent.

We’re big: There are 92.8 million unmarried individuals over age 18 in the United States.  (Only 12 million are in cohabiting couples – the rest are living a variety of single lifestyles, including widows, divorcees, gays and lesbians, and still-looking for Mr/Mrs Right.)  Since 2005, the majority of households have been unmarried.  Unmarried people are raising one-third of all children.  Roughly 85 million unmarried people are eligible to vote, including over 53 million unmarried women who are eligible to vote: a bigger potential voting block than seniors, people of color or union members. Unmarried households are the majority in four of the seven “toss-up” states: Colorado, Nevada, New Mexico and Ohio.

We’re growing fast: for each new married voter there are almost 2.5 new unmarried voters.  Equal percentages of married and unmarried 20-25 year olds report that they vote regularly (30%) and try to influence others’ votes (35%). Single women’s voting rates increased dramatically in 2006 and again in the February 2008 primaries.

We’re new: Married people have been voting while unmarried people were sitting out elections.  This year, a higher percentage of unmarried people are expected to vote.  Between the 2002 and 2006 mid-term elections, the number of unmarried women voters shot up over 13%.  There’s lots of room for improvement.  Historically, among unmarried people, widows and widowers voted the most, followed by the separated and divorced.  African-American women who were separated or divorced voted more than white women of the same status.  Unmarried women voted more than unmarried men, especially among singles and divorcees.  Singles and younger unmarried Americans were the least likely to vote.  But in this exciting election year, all that is set to change!

We’re consistent: In the 2004 presidential election, it was easier to predict who you voted for based on your marital status than your gender.  Unmarried women voters are comparable in size and party loyalty to another political target group: white evangelicals.  So increasing unmarried voter turnout could turn underdog candidates into winners, if those candidates address our central concerns.

Health care is our top domestic priority:  The Alternatives to Marriage Project has nearly 9,000 members in all 50 states, and over 20% have experienced marital status discrimination in health care.  Political researchers found that many of us were unable to pay for necessary health care in the past year (over 14% of unmarried voters and almost 20% of unmarried non-voters, compared to less than 5% of married voters).  They also found that unmarried voters strongly support fundamental health care reform to provide universal coverage that can never be taken away. Only a single payer system promises unmarried people truly equal access to health insurance. Stripping marital status discrimination out of intermediate reforms would reduce the number of uninsured Americans: 18% of unmarried 18-64 year olds have no health insurance, compared to 12% of married people.

The public easily recognizes and ridicules the fact that people get married for health insurance. Outrage begins to build with stories of young adults, military survivors or senior citizens who cannot marry, or abused spouses who cannot divorce, because doing so would cause them to lose health insurance.

Insurance is never the whole story on health care. Even time off and sick leave decisions are based on how an institution or law defines your family.  Each of these decisions leaves out unmarried families and makes single people pay the cost of married people’s care. Unmarried people relate viscerally when someone is fired for taking time off to care for his fiancé, or is shut out of a hospital room though she is the only person who knows what treatment the patient wants. AtMP calls for reforms to give more unmarried people access to paid sick leave, leave to care, and recognition as health care decision makers.

Unmarried people will not be persuaded to register and vote unless they hear candidates speak to their concerns. Rhetoric about same-sex marriage fails to cure the thousands of laws that use marital status to allocate public resources. Singles hear rhetoric about working families as exclusive and dismissive – not because they don’t have families, but because their families (which may include unmarried partners, disabled siblings, aging parents, or loyal neighbors) are not recognized when it comes to taxes, social security and particularly health care.

So you’re part of the prize voting bloc, and the candidates aren’t saying what you want to hear.  You need to do something about this!  There are two simple steps every single single person must take: become a voter, and voice your opinion.

If you want better access to health care, tell the people who are shaping the debate and making the decisions.  Email your favorite candidate.  Email your local newspaper or TV station.  Start the conversation with your employer – government change usually happens after companies demonstrate that it works.

If you are among the 45% of singles who skipped the last presidential election, now is the time to change!  Vote on November 4th! 

If you want to learn more or get more involved, join the Alternatives to Marriage Project.  AtMP believes in equality and fairness for unmarried people, including those who are single, choose not to marry, cannot marry, or live together before marriage.  We believe marriage is only one of many acceptable family forms, and society should recognize and support healthy relationships in all their diversity.  AtMP provides practical support and information, fights discrimination on the basis of marital status, educates the public and policymakers about relevant social and economic issues.  We lobby and accept tax-deductible donations as permitted under our 501(c)(3) status.

Other ways to learn more:
www.wvwv.org
www.ontheissues.org
http://www.unmarried.org/politics.html

By Bella DePaulo, Ph.D. on September 21, 2008 in Living Single

Today is the start of National Singles Week, September 21-27 (sometimes called National Unmarried and Single Americans Week), but don't expect to find any greeting cards to celebrate it. That's okay about the cards - I don't care about them. But I do care about increasing awareness of the truth about single life. We need National Singles Week because we need consciousness-raising.

1. We need it because living single is how we spend the better part of our adult lives. Americans now spend more years unmarried than married. But even if we spent only a sliver of our lives single, we should be able to use that sliver to pick any door or puncture any myth.

2. We need it because what it means to live single has changed dramatically over the past half-century, but our perceptions have been left in the dust. Bogus stereotypes rule, and they need to be dethroned.

3. We need it because fairy tales can come true, it can happen to you, if you are a plastic Barbie or Ken doll or you play one on TV. If you are a real person, you are no more likely to live happily ever after if you get married than you were when you were single. We need to know that.

4. We need it because the media has grabbed onto the Marriage Myth Express and taken it for a long and silly ride. I don't just mean the dopey shows like The Bachelor or the Bachelorette. The press does us wrong even in reporting the news. As I've been documenting on this blog, on the Huffington Post, and in Singled Out, media descriptions of the latest scientific studies consistently add a little glitter to the any results that look good for married people, while batting away any promising findings about single people.

5. We need it because our educational institutions - those colleges and universities that should be at the leading edge of scholarship and critical thinking - have been just as smitten by the marital mythology as the rest of society. Those bastions of higher learning are filled with courses, degree programs, textbooks, journals, endowed chairs, research funding and all the other components of the intellectual industry that is the study of marriage. As for the other 42% of the adult population, we're still waiting for the scholarly spotlight to shine as brightly on us.

6. We need it because we are shorted on the 1,136 federal benefits, protections, and privileges that are available only to people who are legally married. We need it because there is housing discrimination and there are tax penalties and pay disparities linked to marital status.

7. We need it not just for the privileges and protections but also for the opportunities to give and to care. Because I am single and don't have any children, no one can take time off under the Family and Medical Leave Act (FMLA) to care for me if I fall ill. That's a missing protection. But I also can't take time off under the same Act to care for a person who is important to me, such as a sibling, a nephew, or a close friend.

8. We need it because there are more than 92 million of us, and even without any of the opportunities offered to married people by policies such as FMLA, we are doing more than our share. In some significant ways, more of the work of holding together our networks, families, and communities, and sustaining intergenerational ties, is done by single people than by married people.

9. We need it because we have untapped political potential. We don't vote as often as married people do. Lately, we've been on the leading edge of national sentiment. We realized that the nation was headed in the wrong direction before other people did. We need to be heard.

10. We need it because if single life were taken more seriously, then the relationship life of all people, single and married and everyone in between or on the side or undecided, would be expanded and enriched. Follow the finger of married people as they point to an important person in their life and you will end up staring at a spouse. Follow the finger of a single person and you may find yourself gazing at a close friend or a sibling or cousin or a mentor or a neighbor. Look more closely at that person and maybe you will newly appreciate the importance of the entire category that person represents. Friends are hardly "just friends."

11. We need it because single people who live solo can show us that living alone is not the same as feeling alone. They remind us of something that is too seldom acknowledged in a society that so celebrates the buzz of social life, something that people of all marital statuses can appreciate - that solitude can be sweet.

12. We need it because the de-stigmatizing of single life does not undermine marriage, it strengthens it. When single people can live their lives with all of the same respect, benefits, protections, and opportunities as people who are married, then those who want to marry are free. They can pursue marriage for the right reasons - not to run away from the stigma of being single, but to embrace the attractions of being married.

13. We need it because, when it comes to kids, love is the answer. Single parents can give quite a lot of that. Add all the other important people in the lives of single parents and their kids, and then you truly have a whole lot of love.

14. We need to value single people because that's what progressive nations do. They look for the people who have been marginalized and diminished, and invite them into the center of society. That way, we can all live happily ever after.

Happy Singles Week.

And, now you can learn more about how Girlfriendology came about.  Hopefully, it will get you thinking about the importance of your friendships.                                                                                                                        

Girlfriendology? What’s that?!

Guest blog by Debba Haupert, Girlfriendology.com

 

Allison, Dana, Jill, Katie, Lisa, Amy, Holly, Terri … just some of the many reasons I started Girlfriendology. My friends mean the world to me. They’re my chosen family, my confidants and advisors, they make me laugh and sometimes cry, and they stand by me, like I do them, through thick and thin.

But where did it really start? (I get asked that a lot!) Maybe it was moving around so much when I was growing up. I always missed my girlfriends when we moved and wanted to stay behind to be with them. Perhaps it was college and my roommates and friends with whom I bonded, grew and learned life with.

But the specific point at which I recognized that I actually needed my friends wasn’t quite so fun. My college girlfriend Dana found out she had cancer. Then another friend, Allison got the same diagnosis. Fortunately both are fighters and strong survivors, but when that news first hit me – it hit me hard. It made me want to spend time with my other girlfriends – to learn from each of them how to care for my girlfriends who were facing fears I can’t comprehend. It caused me to appreciate all of them even more. And it actually made me stop to consider why my friends became so important to me.

So, I started blogging about it. I called it “Girlfriendology” and I wasn’t sure where it would lead, if anywhere. In doing some research, I came across a book titled: The Tending Instinct, by Shelley E. Taylor. She shares amazing findings that show that we actually need our girlfriends. These social ties actually help us be healthier, happier and less-stressed. Men and women are wired differently – we know that. This book shared what those differences are. One enlightening example - men deal with stress with a ‘fight or flight’ response. Women respond to stress with a need to ‘tend and befriend’ – we want to take care of our young/children and to be with our friends.

Through the discovery process, leaning on my girlfriends was exactly what I needed to do to survive. Along the way, starting Girlfriendology gave me a way of acknowledging my girlfriend gratitude and hopefully inspiring other women to recognize that too. Girlfriendology became the online community for women based on female friendship. It created a home for inspiration, appreciation and celebration of girlfriends. And, as it grows, women everywhere tell me amazing stories about their best friends and how their friendships are so special.

Do you have girlfriends that you appreciate? Have you told them lately? Any special women in your life who have gone out of their way for you and you would do anything for them? Celebrate these friendships on National Women’s Friendship Day (Sept. 21) or for that matter, any and every day of the year. Then stop by Girlfriendology.com and share your stories. Who’s inspired you? Tell them! In the process, you’ll inspire others, and then they’ll be better friends. We really can make the world a better place, one friendship at a time.

Thanks Allison, Dana, Terri, Amy, Anne and all the other wonderful women who have inspired me to start Girlfriendology and to cheer me on every day with your support and friendship.

 

I'm delighted to have Debba Haupert of Girlfiendology.com contribute this blog about a day that should be vry special for all of us women:  National Women's Friendship Day.  Read on....                                                        

Happy National Women’s Friendship Day!

Guest blog by Debba Haupert, Girlfriendology.com

 

Sept. 21^st, 2008, marks the 10^th celebration of National Women’s Friendship Day (NWFD). The celebration day was created in 1999 by the Kappa Delta sorority to remind us to appreciate and celebrate our friendships.  NWFD is a great ‘excuse’ to get the girls together and have some fun. While it might be too late to meet-up on the 21^st, you really can celebrate this special occasion every day – so plan some fun events with your girlfriends!

Check out these ideas for great girlfriend get-togethers:

Happy hour, dinner, lunch, brunch or any opportunity to eat, drink and be merry with your very BFFs. Plan a GNO with your favorite gal pals for a little ‘girlfriend therapy!’ Reconnect with your friends and spend an evening laughing away all your concerns.

Mani, pedi, massage – the works! Grab the girls and head to a local spa or salon for some pampering together. Then ease back into the real world with an after-the-spa dinner together. Consider this: a recent study by Dove indicates that 70% of women feel prettier because of their girlfriends. So get your pretty on by spending time with your BFFs!

Go old school and pass some notes (real paper) with your girlfriends – take a class together! Learn how to knit, cook, bead or speak French together. Take a scrapbooking class, go to a wine tasting or do yoga together. Spend time and learn together – it’s guaranteed that girlfriends make learning much more fun!

Road trip! Autumn is a great time to go to an outlet mall or a fall festival. Celebrate Oktoberfest with the girls, there’s bound to be one close by, visit a nearby town for a fun weekend festival.  

For starters…start a book club, a gardening group, a gourmet girlfriends monthly dinner. Plan a way to see each other more often and have fun on a regular basis. And invite some new women to the group – the more the merrier!

Start shopping! Remember when we got back-to-school clothes? Maybe we should start that tradition over for new fall fashions. Go shopping with your girlfriends. They always give the greatest shopping advice!  

Surprise! It’s a girl’s get-together! At an early celebration of NWFD this week, a group of girlfriends told me that they have a monthly surprise get-together. They take turns planning the super-secret  event. An email shares the date, time and meeting location – but no one is told what they are doing. Everyone shows up and just participates in whatever the host planned. Find some spontaneous girlfriends and have fun!

 I'm pleased to tell you about two really good web sites that are having teleseminars in the next few weeks.

On August 28, (8 pm EDT) Nancy Michaels has invited me to be her guest on the radio broadcast of Match Gone Wrong.  This is a radio show / website for single women age 40 and over.

I'd like to invite you to join us via a telephone conference call (just like my teleseminars.)

I'll be talking about With Or Without A Man: Single Women Taking Control Of Their Lives and my other books for always single and single again women.

I'll also share information about a weekend that can change how you feel about yourself as a single -- the upcoming Unique Retreat For Single Women

For more details and to register to be on the conference call See Nancy's web page .

                         ~~~~~~~~~~~~~
 

As you may know, I don't provide information on dating.  But, I'm making an exception here.  Amy Schoen, dating coach and author, has "7 Tried and True Secrets for Getting Love Right This Time" that are worth learning about.

Have you been looking for love with no luck at all?  Or do you date people who turn out to be totally wrong for you?  Are you tired of wasting your precious time dating commitment-phobs? 

Whether you are recently single again or have been single for a while, join me on   Wednesday, September 3, when I interview her.  In our interview, she will reveal her secrets where you will find out:

-         Why looking at your entire life needs to be your first step to finding true love.

-         What is the number one way to connect with others? 

-         What do you need to do to be more successful at dating? 

-         What holds most people back from dating and what to do about it?

-         How do you decide where to find suitable people to date?

-         What is the best way to stay focused and on track with your dating efforts? 

 

She'll share how you can weed through inappropriate candidates more efficiently and attract the right partner after you practice these secrets. 

 

Amy is a certified professional life coach and a dating and relationship expert, coaches singles to attract the right relationship into their lives and couples to create the relationships of their dreams.  She speaks professionally to adult learning classes, organizations and social groups.  Amy, author of "Get It Right This Time- How to Find and Keep Your Ideal Romantic Relationship and "Motivated to Marry- Now There's a Better Method to Dating and Relationships", has been featured in the Washington Post newspaper, the Washington Examiner, as well as, interviewed on TV, radio and for magazines.   Learn more about Amy's coaching and helpful tips at www.HeartmindConnection.com.

 

When you sign up for the tele-seminar, you will receive the quiz, "Are You Ready for the Right One?" excerpted from Amy's book, "Get It Right This Time^(TM)- How to Find and Keep Your Ideal Romantic Relationship". 

 

Sign up at www.heartmindconnection.com/teleseminar-7Secrets.html for the free tele-seminar on Wednesday, September 3^rd at 9 pm EST.  If you can't make it for the call, sign up any way and receive a copy of the mp3 recording of the tele-seminar.

 

I hope you will join us for this fascinating tele-seminar!

 

 

I've just returned from L.A> for the Seeking Happiness Ever After documentary fund raiser.  I don[t know much about Hollywood, but it certainly felt like a Celebrity Event, first class.

Michelle Cove (award winning author) and Kerry David (award winning producer) put on a fabulous party.  A great comedian MC, a shoe contest (I was one of the judges), a great fashion show with clothes from Sydney Michelle.  There was  great selection on the Silent Auction table including dinner with Jay Leno and a basket from Disney World.  (I offered a Unique Retreats for Single Women.)

Enjoy some of the pictures I took, but also enjoy going to their web site and learning about the documentary (SeekingHappinessEverAfter.com).  Pictures will follow...... when I learn how!

1.  Michelle and Kerry

2.  Shoes from the shoe contest

3.  Jerusha Steward, author of The Single Girl's Manifesto, and TheLastSingleGirlInTheWorld.com
She's the head Shoe Judge.  It's a lousy picture of me, but she looks so great that I had to share this.

4.  The professional taking a picture of the amateur taking a picture of her!  (In case there's any doubt, I'm the amateur)

5.  Me showing off  my ankle!

If you haven't seen the web site for Seeking Happily Ever After go fast.  It speaks directly to any woman (or man) who is or ever has been single in your 30s.

The US Census report shows there are more single women in their 30s today than ever before.

Michelle Cove (author of the national bestseller I'm Not Mad, I just Hate You!: a new understanding of mother-daughter conflict and guest on Oprah) and Kerry David (producer of "My Date with Drew" the critically acclaimed documentary that garnered a worldwide theatrical release and won multiple awards) joined forces to find out why.  They interviewed a number of women (checkout the "trailer" on their web) who were delighted to help show how media stereotypes about singles has nothing to do with real life single women.

Their web says, "This hip, poignant, and entertaining documentary will leave viewers surprised, hopeful, curious, and rethinking assumptions about what it means to be single and 30-something today."


Women are rewriting the rules for love and marriage
The media are catching on!  NY Post, Marie Claire and Glamour Magazine approached Michelle and Kerry requesting "an exclusive feature." 

And, if that weren't enough, listen to this: "Extra"! the Entertainment TV, courtesy of the fabulous Steve Sunshine, are going to follow them, documenting their interviews with women and going through post production on to the festival circuit.  Michelle and Kerry hope to premiere at Sundance or Toronto.

Now, those of you who on the west coast (as well as others willing to fly) can participate in their Fundraiser in Los Angeles on August 14th.  It's going to be quite a glamorous affair, with a fabulous lineup including a fashion show from trendy LA boutique Sydney Michelle, one of the top deejays in Europe, the number 1 comic on the college circuit, and a stellar silent auction that includes donated items including funky jewelery and two hot princes (well, we think these guys are princely). See www.seekinghappilyeverafter.eventbrite.com.

And, one free registration to a special weekend at Unique Retreats For Single Women (October 17-19) provided by ... ME.  I'm honored to be a part of this exciting (and hopefully stereotyping-changing) event.

I'd like to publicly thank Bella DePaulo (author of Singled Out) for this.  She included Michelle and Kerry for Seeking Happily Ever After and me for With or Without A Man and my Unique Retreats For Single Women in her Psychology Today Blog on single resources.  (And, she's another great resource, herself, probably more knowledgeable about anything having to do with singles and research on singles than anyone else today.).

IF you haven’t gotten your 15 Golden Rules For Being An Emotionally Healthy Single Women, click here Click Here (WomenAndThePeopleTheyLove.com)

  Recently, I've had fun as a guest on the following sites:

Unmarried.org   July 9      

        If you don’t know about Unmarried.org, get to it!  This is a most unusual 
organization – the only one of it’s kind for singles.  It is not a social group.  It is
a political and policy focused organizatioan looking at the legal, insurance, health, employment, tax issues (etc) relevant to those who do not have a legal certificate of marriage.

          They lobby congress and inform the media about any if these topics.  They keep these issues in the fore-front of everyone’s attention.

          For over a decade now, there has been a National Singles Week (last week in September), with endorsements from all the single representatives and congressmen.  You won’t believe how many there are!

          They also offer lots of resources for singles, including a Virtual Book Club.  That’s where I was honored to be talking about With or Without A Man: Single Women Taking Control of Their Lives and my other writings on singles.

SWWAN.com
July 17

          This site specifically focuses on single working women (the first three letters; the last two are affiliate and network).

          If you haven’t seen them, go check them out.  There are other really good sites for working women, but this one is specific to the unique issues for women who are single and single again.

          They even have a festival coming up end of July, with some interesting give-aways.  For joining, you get a really nifty Swan pin.

          I was pleased to be invited on their RadioBlog show. 

          Barbara Payne, host, wrote this about the interview:

 

             The SWWAN Dive show has moved to BlogTalkRadio. Last night I conducted a wonderful live Internet radio interview with Dr. Karen Gail Lewis, an author, counselor, therapist and single woman. It was a great experience, and she has a lot to say to single working women. Since there's a place to make comments--and potentially raise the visibility of the show--I'd like to ask you to enjoy the content and contribute your thoughts .

 

            Please go to this URL  (yes it’s long!)  http://www.blogtalkradio.com/show.aspx?userurl=swwan_dive&year=2008&month=07&day=18&url=7-Shocking-Truths-about-Being-Single-or-Single-Again-Today.

             If you have time, go ahead and listen to the show (with your sound on, it will start playing as soon as you open the page). If not, please read below and make a comment on what a great show it was!  And if you like the content, go ahead and "Mark it a favorite!" 

              And please pass this on to any other single women you think might be interested.  

              Here are some of the things we talked about so your comment can be pithy:

             You’ve written a book – called With or Wtihout a Man – and in the process you did lots of research that supports your conclusions about being single. Let’s get right into some of the surprising things you’ve discovered.

 

                 What are the real reasons why so many women today are single or single again?

             Most women talk about their flaws, looks, clothes. But that's not it. The fact is, women pursue their personal

             growth way more than men. They expect more, and men are not keeping up.
 

                 You talk about research the absence of touch in relation to singles. What are the facts?
Women don’t pay enough attention to this. Studies show that the elderly get depressed w/o touch. Women get depressed without touch. Need connection. Get involved with kids—kids love hugs. Dancing. Massage. Hug your family. Pets.

 

           I think every single woman has said this to herself at one time or another—sometimes every day! "There must be 
          something wrong with me that I haven't met a man." Why do women, even highly successful working women, 
          blame themselves when they don't have a love relationship or the one they had has turned sour?
          Since the 1600s (and long before) books and authorities have said it’s woman’s fault; our own mothers taught us this.
          Society has for all time ingrained this into women from birth. I hate those books on how you should change yourself to
          catch a man.

         Most healthy single women aren’t depressed a lot. But sometimes it happens.    Sometimes the feeling of sadness
         that you might never have a committed relationship comes sneaking in. What can we do about that?
         An exercise from her workbook "With or Without a Man." Pretend you have a Crystal Ball—and it says you’re 
            definitely 
             going to meet the man of your dreams in 5 years, but not before. What do you do? You RELAX. Your get involved in
             activities you enjoy. You do what YOU want. If you want to go to singles dances, go ahead, but go only if you enjoy
             them, not because you “need to put yourself out there.”

How you can not have a man in your life, yet have intimacy? Other women give us intimacy.
We don’t analyze our relationships with women to death. They should. You feel closer.  
 
 People often ask intrusive and sometimes downright rude questions about being single. Does it make a difference how you answer them? What do you suggest?
Don’t be clever, or pathetic. Any answer you give feels bad. It lets them define you. It’s like asking if you’ve had a bowel movement. Don’t invite them in to share personal things. Believe it’s inappropriate for them to ask, then shrug & change subject. “Hmmmm.” Talk about something else. Nothing you reply will make you feel better.

 

                         The very worst thing about being single – and it’s NOT the absence of a man.

             With most sad or traumatic events in life, you grieve but move on. But if you're feeling sad, angry, about not meeting a man, you can't move on because you just don't know. You don’t want to give up hope. It's called ambiguous loss. Much harder to move on. Can’t stop and be finished. Not knowing is very difficult--as has been researched with the Military, lost POWs, and with victims of cancer or those in a coma--are you coming back or are you dying? It's the not knowing that makes the emotion stick. That's why the crystal ball exercise is so powerful. It shows you the power that knowing gives you.

 

                                                                                  ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

IF you haven’t gotten your 15 Golden Rules For Being An Emotionally Healthy Single Women,click here. 

 

WOMEN 

3 MINUTES TO RELAX, AND FEEL BETTER ABOUT YOURSELF

My colleague, Marna Goldstein has created a delightful (FREE) 3 minute video that challenges you to believe you can.  It’s been getting rave reviews and people are enjoying just taking a 3 minute break to relax and let go.  Give yourself the gift of these 3 minutes.  http://www.attractitallmovie.com

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

 

WOMEN:  Do you know about NABBW?  If you are a baby boomer, this site is for you:  National Association of Baby Boomer Women.

   “The National Association of Baby Boomer Women is the only association devoted to

    addressing issues concerning 38 million of the healthiest, wealthiest, and best educated

    generation of women to ever hit midlife, baby boomer women.”

They are dedicated to empowering women to explore their passions and to live life to the fullest.  Go check them out: NABBW.com

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

SIBLINGS

Typically, this is your longest relations; it started long before you met your best friend or spouse, and it extends long past the death of your parents.

It has the power to influence your choice of friends and lovers, and your success at work. It is a power that has not been well understood or well used.

But while unique, it is often your most conflictual relationship, and the most overlooked one.

Do you pay enough attention?  Do you take your brothers and sisters for granted?  Don’t wait until it’s too late.

If you don’t know about Siblings Day Organization, Click here to learn more.

 

continuing with the topic of language:

 

ENGLISH IS OUTDATED (and BIASED)  

How often have you filled out a form that asks for your marital status?  If you are single, single again, or married, you may have never considered what that phrase actually says.

Look at it again: marital status.  Do you notice anything unusual about it?  You see it so often and use it so often, you perhaps haven’t noticed.

“What is your Marital Status?” asks what is your status vis-à-vis marriage.  Do you have marriage or do you not.  There is an implicit statement that marriage is the norm and you either do or do not have it.

Our language is outdated.  It doesn’t take into consideration all the socialtal changes over the centuries.  Yet, language is society’s way of passing on norms, expectations, cultural messages.  When we take words for granted, without thinking if they still fit, we don’t recognize the impact they have.   And, the wrong words can send the wrong message.

Remember the 1970s?  It’s really not that long ago (especially for us baby boomer and mid-life women).  It was a time when females had little influence and power in society.  We were called “girls.”  Women decided to change the language, to reflect how we wanted to be seen – as adults, not girls, capable of power and influence. 

Language can perpetuate a prejudice, without our even knowing it.  Girls, so don’t expect much from these females.  Marital status, the normal status is marriage.  

Without a change in the language, singles absorb the message – there is something wrong with them because they are not meeting the norm. 

At Unique Retreats for Single Women, this is only one of many topics we’ll discuss about what it means to be single in a married world.  For a look at some of the other topics, go to www.UniqueRetreatsForSingleWomen.com

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Single Women     SAVE THE DATE:  Oct 17-19

 
Are you tired of explaining why you’re still single … or single again?

Are you sometimes sad about being single … even though most of the time you are content with your life?

Do you cringe when the women closest to you – like your mom, grown daughter, or best friend – chide you with comments like “You’re too fussy” or “You’re not trying hard enough”?

Do you feel society’s pressure you should be married or partnered – and if you aren’t, that it must be your fault?

If you answered YES to one or more of these questions, please clear your calendar for October 17-19, and plan to meet me in Madison, Indiana, for the Unique Retreat for Single Women. 

 
MORE DETAILS COMING SOON!